two days of pure pain

assalamualaikum peeps




i hardly skip meals, not even breakfast. i make sure i fill my tummy on time, even when i am moody, even when work is overloading,even when exams are coming.


until this one fine day, i've to remove my second molar tooth. 
i had been warned by the dentist of the severe pain i'd have that i'd have to endure. the word severe repeated itself in my mind and when the mc is for 3 days, i couldn't imagine the pain awaiting me. 


the process was not long. not even painful. just that it was quite rough. 
and the journey into the realm of discomfort began (because i had experience teeth removal before and i couldn't control the drooling) when the anaesthetic is wearing off. pain is awaiting me.  


and i have not been sleeping properly for the last ten nights, if the count is right -doing the usual, assignments. my body is aching all over macam orang tua, and my eyes are more tired than ever.
so coming home after the hospital trip, i slept for hours on the couch in the second living room, because i was too sleepy and tired. and because i was afraid of the pain seeping through my glands


i still have cotton in my mouth, the bleeding hasn't stop. and i've already messed up the cover of the couch with the blood. 
it is very uncomfortable, it is not so much pain. but it hurts. when i press my forehead during sujud, when i try gulping water, when i walk, when i try to talk but make noise instead and when i move my jaw to swallow food - the jaw, gum or the missing tooth throbs silently as if cradling me into the sensation. 


and the pain is magnified by the fact that i have to submit my assignment on the very next day. before i went to the hospital, i was positive i could make it. i can punyalah. but i couldn't. 


well i tried finishing it before my meet-up with the dentist, but only the rough stuff. 
and writing essay, academic essay to boot, is never taking a short time. so i stayed up to write but dozed off,  woke up again in another hour just to get back into sleep. i guess might be because of my lack of sleep the nights before *sigh


and all the ache in your body is swelling up when first it was only your gum. argh!
rasa macam nak demam, all warm and sweaty and dizzy, ache in the back and all. 

i never think i'd be in this situation - thirsty but you can only drink a little, hungry but you can only eat a spoonful, dizzy but you can only lie awake with time ticking so fast when i need more time to finish up assignment. i want to do the best but can only give crap. ya Allah make me stronger. 

the next day, i didn't eat because eating will take so much time and i could just eat spoonfuls and i have pages, long pages of essay, yet to be done. 


sometimes, your brain just don't function like how it used to, at times we need the most. and how i think again, we always take things for granted. sometimes, i forgot this brain is not mine. 




good thing, my brother was in and he drove me to my college at the very end hour of submission date. at 4.30 pm on friday! i almost gave up right before i went printing. 
my cheek was a thing and wearing tudung in rush made me all teary, the painnn. but alhamdulillah, when i reached there, my friends were waiting to collect all the assignments before handing them in. they even helped me to staple and bind it, you know the things you don't care when you're doing stuff super last minutes. 


but heck, it was embarrassing! i had the whole class (well, almost) see my special appearance with the swollen cheek. and with super untidy tudung, panda eyes, chapped lips, oily and stressed face (i'm affected by the chapped lips, because this is rare for me, hardly happen). wuargh this is so embarrassing!  




i quickly flee right after handing in my assignment, no more people seeing me, noooo. but i still regret the fact that i did my assignment horribly, i couldn't even dare to think of the result tsk tsk.
on the way back, i couldn't deny my hunger any longer and so, to the drive-thru! lucky there's porridge sold outside. 

at last,
after two days of pure pain and discomfort, i got to eat - a blessing. 


though it was nothing compared to others who has suffer more in this world, this would be...








two days i would never forget.